Heart To Heart

In going through my parents belongings, I found this picture.  (My sister added color - that's what she does to everyone and everything - she makes it beautiful with color and creativity.) This is still me!  I am a 'jeans (that are generally too long - and cute, comfy sweaters - and fun shoes - and 'what is my hair doing? ' - and "look at those mountains... I want to run there" mindset. I know I have frustrated my more together friends with my love of comfy jeans, my love of lipgloss and too little makeup, my tattoo, and my love of cute shoes.  But this little girl is still me. I heard people tell my parents I had a belly laugh, and I still do.  I have embarrassed my friends in restaurants and stores and even once in a funeral when I tried to contain a belly laugh but it came out anyway - kind of through my nose.  Oops. This year (for my birthday) I had this deep urge to write notes to all those who have been such gifts in my life;  I started to w...

We have a dog.  Her name is Noel, and we've had her for about 5 years.  She's a great dog, honestly she is - but lately her level of anxiety (when left alone) has gone through the roof.  It appears she has doggie panic attacks that are very destructive.  It's only been happening during the last few months. We have a friend who is a professional animal trainer who came over to observe and offer suggestions.  She worked with Noel and gave me some instruction.  It seems that I need re-training more than Noel does.  Noel's thought processing needs to be changed, and Jena assures me it will change - if I'm consistent with our new strategy.  I wondered if Noel's age would hinder the process, but Jena insists it won't. Sound at all familiar?   Things you've gone through in the past seem to effect how you respond to the present.  You hear words that weren't actually said.  Or, you make words that were said have meaning that is a long ...

Psalm 139:11 & 12 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You. I have never been a fan of darkness or night.  The cause of that is not the subject of this blog - I just want you to understand the depth that I love the Light of God, the Hand of God, the Presence of God that never gets blocked out by darkness. Almost two weeks ago,  I  experienced invasive eye surgery.  It was not elective.  If I wanted to keep my eyesight I would need to trust someone to punch a couple of holes in my eye and do some work. The surgery seemed to go well, but I've had a perfect storm of complications as I've tried to recovery. I won't load your backpack with details - the thing I'm thinking about tonight is how weird it's been to spend the last two weeks with eyes that longed for dark.  Little outside light, ...

Ok - I'll admit it....I love Oreos.  Yes, I hear some of you gag at the thought, and you're even thinking about 'unfriending' me because a person who likes Oreos can't possibly love Jesus.  But - - - there it is.  It might be because we had 0 to teeny bits of sugar and fat growing up in our home.  I had hot lunch at school and no bagged lunch.  (Oh to have experienced a Twinkie.) I went decades (sigh) without an Oreo.  Decades. Then, one magical day a little over two years ago I ate an Oreo.  Processed.  Fake chocolate.  Who knows what 'cream' filling.   There's fake lemon that is so fun.  There are thin Oreos and double stuffed Oreos.  Birthday cake.  Filling that tastes like Peeps (didn't try that one). I generally can't have them in my home because they really aren't the kind of food I'm trying to eat these days, but...a friend gave me a package of open Firework Oreos because...we have grandkids.  That ...

Confession time...I think (without knowing it) I've always thought I would grow up to be Wonder Women. There would be a day when I'd have long flowing hair with just the right amount of wave to look great when the breeze blows while I'm sitting on the beach. I would have a waist, and a core - and maybe not a six-pack but at least a belly that doesn't slide around. My thighs wouldn't rub together when I walk - sometimes even making my shorts ride up.  Really, there's no graceful way to pull shorts down once the inseam side has scrunched up.  Brutal. (What is that yellow thing hanging from her side?  Maybe a scarf she can wear 5 different ways so she doesn't need to carry luggage?) It's an image in my head.  I have not seen the movie or read her autobiography - I just have an image. That image told me that someday (if I prayed long enough and tried hard enough)  I could fix everything and everyone that had need.  Always, ALWAYS with Jesus -...

About a million years ago, we tried to adopt a little two year old girl.  Her momma dropped her off at the church office and said she didn't want her anymore, and that we could have her as long as we didn't dress her in pink(!) She was very independent because her survival had depended on it.  I remember walking up the stairs with her and trying to hold her hand but she wouldn't let me.  She just kept saying, "ME do it, ME do it."  She wanted to hold on to my finger.  The challenge came when she slipped and let go to catch her self.  She didn't see how my holding on to HER would be so much more secure then her holding on  to my finger. (It was an emotional rollercoaster adoption attempt, as many are.  It was complicated, with {addicted} relatives involved who took her and hid her.  The good part is that she is a survivor of brain cancer [age four], and eventually was able to be adopted by a family where she had other sisters & is very...