Who Am I Under the Hair Dye?

Part of my heritage is early on-set of grey-white hair.  My dad was grey by 19.  My sister was white in her 20's.  She had always been blond, so it was an easy fix for her when she preferred blond.  My mom stopped dying her hair at 88, I think.  

I started covering my grey in my 20's, which was a looooong time ago.  

I have a list of really committed friends who promised to come in and cover my roots with a sharpie if I was ever in a coma for any length of time.  

White hair is hard to cover, and is seen easily when it's not regularly maintained.  

(I wonder how many people are still reading this blog entry at this point...)

Enter COVID19 quarantine......and today.....

Today I begin the process of growing out my white hair.  The real me will become very, very evident.

Ashley (my heart friend and hair stylist) did her thing...this first step....we washed and toweled dried and she turned me around and .... I cried.

I cried at not seeing my roots covered any longer.  I cried at the vulnerability of being old-----er.  I cried for the many times that the 'real me' wasn't/isn't perfect enough....and now it's on the outside as well as the inside.  I cried at the process of humility that comes with growing from one thing to another (when that growing stage is awkward).

I know, such a 1st world problem.

And, by now, you know that this is not really just about not having brown hair anymore, right?

It's about change.  It's about seasons.  It's about being ok with the me that's "under the hair dye".  

So, what do I come back to?  I was made ON purpose, FOR a purpose...just the way I am.

                      

Look at this part of Psalm 139 in the Passion Translation -

Lord, You know everything there is to know about me.  You perceive every movement of my heart and soul, and you understand my every thought before it even enters my mind. You are so intimately aware of me, Lord.  You read my heart like an open book and You know all the words I'm about to speak before I even start a sentence!    

You know every step I will take before my journey even begins.  

You've gone into my future to prepare the way, and in kindness you follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past.

With Your hand of love upon my life, You impart a blessing to me.  This is just too wonderful, deep and incomprehensible!  Your understanding of me brings me wonder and strength.

Peace on, and in you, my friend!