"Please, Sir. Please make something beautiful out of this horror."

"Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace,

that we may obtain mercy and find grace

to help in time of need."

Hebrews 4:16

Last night we had a set aside time for prayer at our church.  Each time we meet it looks different.  This time, the instruction was to pray alone (for the most part).  If someone had a scripture, or particular word or prayer direction they were to go to a microphone and share what was on their heart.

After about 30 minutes I found myself walking up to mic.  I could hear the words (in my heart), 'come boldly to the throne' - but it felt like I was standing in front of a judge.  Pleading for friends and family that so need healing in various areas of life.  Immense needs.  Needs only a HUGE God can speak Life into.  

And then...I heard myself praying out loud for the young lady (pedestrian) that I hit with my car three weeks ago.  She was cited.  She was injured.   The police say I could not have avoided her.....but......it is an experience I would not wish on my worst enemy.  I heard my self begging God to bring beauty out of ashes - super church-y words - but I don't know any other way to say it.  And I felt at the moment that I was standing before a Judge.  "Please, Sir.  Please make something beautiful out of this horror."

I heard no answer.  I felt no relief.   I went back and sat down.

My pride was embarrassed by my deep (public) cry for help.  I know so many better pray-ers than me.  They pray with strong faith and confidence and all the right words.  They pray FROM victory not just FOR victory.  I was simply obeying a gentle nudge that I thought said, 'come boldly to the throne'. 

I googled that phrase because I couldn't remember where to find it in scripture and was reminded that that throne is the throne of grace.  A place to find mercy.  A place to find what is needed in a time of need.  Not a judgement of failed performance.  A huge throne of GRACE.  

So, today I stand or kneel or even lie down in front of that throne of grace - waiting, asking, anticipating merciful answers for my friends and family that I love so much...and for myself and a group of street kids I would have never been connected with had it not been for this really yucky accident.  

2 Corinthians 12:9

But He said to me, 

"My grace is sufficient for you, 

for My power is made perfect in weakness."

2 Corinthians 1:2

"May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ 

give you grace and peace."