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The Release Hatch...

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"May the God of hope   fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him,  so that you may overflow with hope  by the power of the Holy Spirit."  ~Rom. 15:13 Last Friday I sat in my mother's room for hours.  That day I was waiting to see if she would wake up in heaven, or here on earth.  She hadn't eaten, she hadn't taken a drink.  She slept.  She eventually did wake up, not recognizing her surroundings, but knowing that something about me was familiar and evidently trustworthy.   During that particular waiting time (there have been many times of waiting lately), I decided to memorize (again) Rom. 15:13.  For some reason, it just doesn't stick in my brain - but I want it to.   This is what I discovered - I kept leaving out "as you trust in Him".  That pokes my heart.  It seems I want the hope and the joy and peace.  I want the Holy Spirit to go ahead and dump a boat load of that stuff ASAP - but it comes with a release hatch - &q

Roller Coaster Ride....

Ok.  Let's talk roller coaster rides.  There's the old school wooden ones that jerk you around as you click-clack up, and free-fall down.  You really can't know what I mean unless you've ridden one.  The SOUND of the clicking as you climb the highest peak does something to your brain.  And, your head hitting the back of the car with each click does something to your brain as well! There's the non-old school ones that offer the additional joy of having your feet dangle in the air as you go up and down, as well as upside down maybe three turns in a row.  Free-fall AND corkscrew turns.  The only thing better are the people who get sick in front of you (either on the ride or when they get off).  Lovely. I am married to a man who calls this "fun".  His dream vacation (for awhile) was to hit all the the greatest roller coasters in the country!  I remember him riding one crazy roller coaster at Great America with our youth group seven times in a row! Why al

Please...

Please, don't forget what God has done for you. Please, don't forget to TELL people what He has done for you. Please, don't allow your sense of gratitude to diminish with time. Please, don't forget the promises you made to God in times of crisis. Please, remember that if God feels distant - He's not the the one who moved. Please.Say.Thank You. Psalm 50:23  - He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me,     and he prepares the way     so that I may show him the salvation of God.”
I've re-learned somthing this week. Tuesday we were in Washington D.C.  Talked to an ambassador from Africa who is a Jesus follower.  Talked to the number one nuclear physicist in the world, who is Korean and who is a Jesus follower. Okay, really, talked to men all day Tuesday who influence world leaders, who are Jesus followers. And, they talked to me.  They hugged me as they left.  Because I was a friend of their friend,  I was now a friend to them.  I didn't have to prove how smart I was, or how spiritual I was, and it certainly wasn't because of my beauty that qualified me.  Each conversation was so encouraging. Jesus followers that....loved.  Think of that. In our church world we hear a lot of the qualifiers to be acceptable to people.  Too spiritaul, not spiritual enough, too traditional, too contemporary, too transparent, not transparent enough. What times like this week does to my heart is help me re-learn simplicity. Jesus. Jesus who was willing and

The Key...

You probably know by now that I am not a fashion icon.  I accessorize mostly by accident.  There have been MANY moments when I discover, "Oh look!  This actually GOES with that!!!"  At the last church we pastored someone actually told me they were so glad to be at a church where people didn't want to look like the pastor's wife!  I just looked at her and started laughing - she looked at me and started sputtering, because she had really meant it as a compliment - she was glad people didn't have to look perfect (at that time wearing specially folded scarves) to be accepted. I tend toward accessories that make me smile, make me think and just mean something to me -  in my home, in my office and on my person. One accessory that I have been drawn to is almost anything that has a key on it.  Yesterday, I had opporunity to explain this draw to a group of wonderful women.  Looking at a key stirs my faith. It reminds me that Jesus WON the keys to death, hell and the gr

Another cooking success...

I burned my arm on the oven door tonight, while taking out a pan of muffins.  Stink.  Ouch.  Just laid my arm on the door.  Bummer. I've done some crazy things in my attempts to cook.  There was last year's cake for the care group,  remember that?  I made the glaze, but evidently cooked it too long so it didn't drape nicely over the bundt cake - it hardened like cement instead of draping nicely.  I thought it might help it drape if I used my hairdryer to melt it.  Not so much. There were my Thanksgiving green beans bundles with bacon belts and - - - glaze that hardened so solidly by the time the bacon cooked that we used the bundles for weapons.  Green bean swords.  Not going to be a tradition repeated this year.  It looked so fun on Pinterest! One thing I love about the Bible is that it's so full of things and people that aren't perfect.  Jesus - perfect?  Yes sir!  Others?  Nope!  And,  2 Cor. 12:9 says,  “ My   grace   is   sufficient  for you, for  my  pow

Storage Wars!

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DW and I watch Storage Wars on TV sometimes.  People bidding on abandoned storage units, hoping to get great treasure for cheap prices.   They can't look in boxes - they have to go by what they can see and how valuable they FEEL the unit is....then they bid. I have a storage unit with my parent's things in it.  After 3 moves, it's what I've decided (at this point) to keep.  I donated and donated and donated until my heart couldn't donate their life away anymore.  I kept stuff thinking that my dad would go back to living on his own after my mom passed - but, my dad has gone to heaven first.  Hmmmm.  I have kept stuff in case my mom asked for it, but she can't remember her past life that's in those boxes very well these days.  Hmmmm.  I have decisions to make - what to keep - what's valuable for my kids and grandkids? I bring this up because I'm thinking that we keep boxes of stuff in our hearts.  Stuff from the past that we don't let go o

What IS that?

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I've had this 'thing' on my arm for weeks.  I thought it was a little cut - no big deal - it'll be gone in a couple of days.  Hmmmm.... not gone in a couple of days.  What IS it?  Why does it seem weird?  Why won't it just GO AWAY. I haven't wanted to mess with it, but today I got tweezers out - to mess with it - and in short order a significant splitter was pulled out.  An unexpected...splinter. We weren't meant for splinters or other foreign objects to reside in us.  They open the door to bacteria and infection. It reminded me of having an attitude or offense pierce our hearts....sometimes without us being super aware of it.  Something just doesn't seem right.  Maybe we can't even put our finger on it so we figure, "this feeling will go away in a day or two.  I'm probably just tired or too busy or just being weird or hormonal".  But it doesn't just go away. The Holy Spirit is so great at surrounding that "splinte

Look for...declare...believe...

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There's been a message of clarity that's been spoken into my spirit... Be OFFENSIVE! What does that mean?  For me, at this moment it means that I am to LOOK for joy in the middle of sorrow...it means to declare VICTORY in the middle of battle .... it means to believe that the promise of God's provision is a promise HE IS KEEPING. Look for it - declare it - believe it! Have you seen the waterfall at Crater Lake????  There's a waterfall at CRATER LAKE!  Like the lake isn't reason enough to make the trip!  3 or 4 years ago I asked Dennis if we could try to see every waterfall in Oregon.  The challenges with my parents have meant that I needed to stay close to home, so no big waterfall adventures.  But, look what the Lord did for us.  We got to drive around Crater Lake one day last week, and there it was....a WATERFALL!  (Big smile) Heidi just sent this picture of Jack 'interviewing' some people (he didn't know) with his play mic

Animal Cookies

I am currently eating some animal cookies, left here (I'm sure on purpose) by our daughter-in-love.  We've had a house full these last few days...lots of child-moments....lots of clutter...lots of laughing and kid creativity...lots of great parenting moments...lots of remembering... One of the picture boards that I made in honor of my dad has thread woven, connecting all of the pictures of the generations - all touching the life of my father. We are connected. Events, that felt like moments in time, are woven together to make a life.  Lives woven together make a legacy. What are you weaving? Meanwhile - - - I must stop eating animal cookies or I will end up looking like the hippo cookie! ( And, may I tell you how grateful I am for your support and love and prayer during this season in our family.  My mom is struggling.  Having dad go to be with the Lord the day before their 70th anniversary has been hard.  They've only been apart while mom was in Highland House

"I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU..........."

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I so like this picture.   I had bribed the youngest and the oldest with a peach smoothie from Dutch Bros.!  So much has happened since this picture was taken... I'm going to write this blog tonight....not knowing what tomorrow will bring.  Tonight it seems my dad is closer to heaven than to life here on earth.   I love knowing that heaven is close.   I extremely dislike seeing  suffering. I read from the Psalms to my dad today.   I hummed and sang, and I think he was trying to plug his ear - I'm not sure.  Ha!  Not the response I'd  hoped for! I have never lived out "we live by faith, not by sight" (2 Cor. 5:7) more than  I am during the moments of these days. That's  a lot of "I's"!!!   (Have you ever counted the times you say "I" in a day????) Now another kind of "I"... "For I AM the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you - Do not fear; I will help you."  (Is.

I need to fix it...

"I want to fix SOMETHING!"  - I heard myself saying to the doctor yesterday.  I was hovering over his shoulder as he entered data into the medical report of the office visit we were having.  My dad was sitting in a wheelchair (very new to him), not really able to participate in the discussion.  I had my notes in front of me - my questions - my suggestions.  Calmly, our doctor answered questions, but mainly just looked at me - which led to my declaration...." I want, I NEED to fix something.  Please help me.  Please..." But, I can't.  I can't fix this.  I can't make it easier for them (my dad and my mom).  I can honor and be diligent, I can care, but I cannot fix this.  And God, who is the maker of my heart & made me this tender on purpose, hears.  And it's so good that He hears, but more than being heard - we need to...hear.  There really is something that can only happen when God speaks. In Genesis, He made light and land and universe -  b

She has found her voice...

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We have now had our new dog for almost a whole week!  She's really a good dog - doesn't shed, is already housebroken, isn't aggressive, seems to be loyal.  Very calm personality.  Sweet. The longer she's with us the more comfortable she is getting.  The first noise she made was a bark that sounded like a dog burp.  Then, it has become apparent that she REALLY likes Dennis - so she cries when he leaves.  She eventually kind of sighs and settles for me! I heard a NEW noise last night.  Both Dennis and I had commitments.  She stayed with him till my reheasal was over, then I brought her home with me.  She went out in the backyard and something (I really don't know what) caught her attention.  She barked.  A real bark.  A bark that was high and piercing and not really something that would scare a robber.  It's just...weird.  I'll admit that earlier when she was alerting me to the nieghbors next door with what sounded like a dog burp, that wasn't really

Game Show Winner

If there was a game show based how many church songs one knows - I would SO be crowned the queen.  Honestly.  I know A LOT of songs. Tonight I am thinking of all the "please use me - I will do anything - go anywhere for You" songs that I have song with passion over the years.   At camps, during altar times, leading others in that direction or just singing alone in my piano room - the memories of surrender songs flash through my mind.  A LOT of songs. I'm also thinking of how much easier it sometimes is to sing the songs than to DO the action being requested by heaven.  Not everything that one does for the Kingdom of God fits into one's 'giftings'. The last couple of weeks have held some very poignant moments of Truth for me.  Would I serve Him by serving others in ways that are difficult or very uncomfortable for me (for more than one reason)?  I honestly looked at a circumstance and said those highly over exposed, marketed-on-a-bracelet, church words -

Growing...

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I went to the doctor last week.  It seems that no matter what doctor you go to, they always want to weigh a person before getting around to business.  Really?  Getting my ear's cleaned out - must get weighed first.  Probably have to weigh in before getting my teeth cleaned next.   I went to the doctor last week, got weighed and found that I have gained 10 pounds in the last 2 months.  Groovy.  How is that even possible.  The doc says of course it is possible because it happened!  What have I done differently?  Nothing, I reply.   And then I remember...  the 14 large boxes of junior mints that I got for my birthday.   Those mints were so light, so small, so refreshing, so thoughtful, so FUN.  Evidently, I grew larger - one fun mint at a time!  (And I haven't even eaten them all yet! Ugh.) I could connect this with small sins, attitudes, thoughts that add up to a big load after a while - a big load of heaviness that snuck up on you when you weren't aware, b
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Oscar and Tilly were both playing Simon Says -  They both heard the same direction -  they responded at different speeds, so this 'moment of time snapshot' shows different positions! Our journey with other people just might might look like this. We're walking with people who are trying to be obedient, and trying to do what they hear is being asked of them -  but they hear and respond differently than we do. Our response choices are... Rejoice in the victory - - -  our fellow follower is trying! YaY! or Look down on someone because they aren't as fast as you, as 'spiritual' as you, as mature as you.... Please choose to encourage - please choose to offer grace - please, please, please REJOICE - even over baby steps & slow hand motions. It'll change your day to find things to rejoice about. Really.  Anyone can find what's disappointing around them... Today.Intentionally.Say.YaY. ...to someone... ...to yourself... YaY!

Thoughts from a massage chair...

There will be NO pictures with this blog entry... Yesterday, I went and got a pedicure.  It was a spur of the moment decision.  Someone had given me a gift certificate.  It's a 'walk-ins are possible' type place. I went because I'm really, really tired.  I'm finding that I can get really tired even after doing good things.  We had a women's event this last weekend, I spoke for the Mother's Day service on Sunday, we then drove to Salem for a minister's meeting in another town - but needed to come home early so Dennis could go to another meeting on behalf of the city.  Check in with my parents.  Tired. So, I went for a pedicure.  People seem to love pedicures.  I can count on one hand the amount of pedicures I've had. Picture this... Four big recliner type deals with optional vibration and roller-type massage thingy's that you enjoy, if you choose.  The man in the chair two down from me liked the "shake your head a lot" option of

Help me to GET IT...

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I took this picture from inside the prayer barn at Genesee Home.  This place is set aside for ministry peeps to rest and renew and restore.   You are looking at some pastureland, some thick forest, and a mountain with snow on it - all in the same snapshot.  It is beautiful and diverse and detailed....and I drank it in from somewhere deep inside my heart. I guess I had some huge expectations about our time at Genesee Home.  I REALLY wanted at least one good 'aha' moment.....maybe an audible message that shifted my heart forever....I listened....and waited....and listened....and waited.....   .......    ....... At one point I did hear, "turn the music off".   Evidently I was filling in the quiet - the waiting -  with my playlist - - hmmmm.... What it did was make me notice - things.  The variety, the beauty, the weeds that looked like they were growing little cotton balls, the different bird songs - - - things. I felt at one point that God said, "

Train Track Living

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What an interesting Easter.  I have never, ever felt the journey of life on train tracks like the last few weeks...the last few days, especially. Life on the train tracks means - sorrow and joy traveling together, at the same time. One year at our Elder's Retreat, we all hopped a train to have dinner and enjoy the ride for the evening. There were some weird sounds, grinds, creaks .... and an unexpected whistle stop.  The track had buckled, so the train was unable to proceed forward.  We had literally been in a train wreck!  We ate our dinner, waited for information and tried to be mature. Have you ever felt like that?  Life is cruisin', and then there's an unexpected stop.  So, you eat dinner, wait for information and try to be mature! Today is Maggie Mae's 3rd birthday.  It has also turned out to be Troy Martin's home going date.  Joy and sorrow traveling together.  I love that Troy is whole and happy - I just thought we needed this wonderf

Never, ever - play with matches...

I so wanted to load a song I heard last week so you could hear it. (I couldn't get it to load.) But, it goes to the tune of "Are You Sleeping? (..also known as Frere Jacque...)  Never, ever play with matches If you do, if you do You could burn your house down You could burn your house down That won't do, that won't do! It was one of the little Webber's preschool spring program songs. They also sang such hits as "Deep and Wide", and a 4 year old round of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" - and 6 other songs! THE BEST! The match song was especially meaningful to me because one of our sons had a life-long love of fire. Even built a kiln for his senor project for GPHS. He built that kiln in our garage - through all stages of trial and error. We've had home made potato launchers, many adaptations of fireworks - and really - he burned his eyebrows off enough times that it's amazing he HAS eyebrows at all. Some of these activities were

Please walk down another street...

Autobiography In Five Short Chapters Chapter I I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost... I am hopeless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. Chapter II I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I  pretend  I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in this same place. But it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.   Chapter III I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I  see  it there. I still fall in... it's a habit... but, my eyes are open. I know where I am. It is  my  fault. I get out immediately.   Chapter IV I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. Chapter V I walk down another street. - Portia Nelson

HOPE

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                                                                                                                                    Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;                          my hope comes from Him.     He alone is my Rock and my Salvation;                         He is my Fortress I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God;                         He is my Mighty Rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, O people;                         pour out your hearts to Him,         for God is our refuge.                         Ps. 62:5-8

Things I Love About My Husband

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(Just want you to know that I could hear the MOAN from some of you..) 10.  He's clean, and He cleans. 9.  He's not afraid to try new things (like scuba diving or one of my new cooking attempts  - equally      life threatening) 8.  He gets that I love shoes 7.  The opinion he values the most is God's opinion 6.  He WANTS me to flourish, and prays for it to be so 5.  He fixes stuff 4.  He hugely believes in our kids, and delights in our grandkids 3.  He's a really great kisser 2.  He's a champion for the abused woman, and the neglected child 1.  He's shown me how Jesus loves

My battle with thoughts, words and cats...

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Yesterday's Super Bowl will be marked in my memory by yet another cat trying to jump onto my head.  I've written about that before - how my head seems to attract the activity of cats - but this time it had an unusual (!) element. We were at the home of friends, enjoying the game with several people as well as the family cat - who had sniffed and investigated me, but had seemed pretty bored with what she found.  I thought I was cleared.  It's like the feeling I have when I make it through security at an airport!   And then came the twist.  My friend Debbie SAID TO THE CAT, "Do you want to jump on Jeanette's head?"  At which time, the cat walked around the recliner, jumped from the floor to the top of the chair and swatted at my head.   Really?  The cat took my friend Debbie's suggestion??????  It was just weird. My reason for sharing this with you is this... The responsibility of care for my elderly parents,  the reaction to my husban

I Feel Strongly About Toilet Paper

There are some things that most people have an opinion about... Toilet paper (Personally, I’m for it) - single or two-ply? Licorice - black or red?  Coconut seems to cause some division -water, oil, milk or butter?  Lima beans, peas, and cooked spinach - also seems to draw some discussion.  Gluten?  Red meat?  Mother's milk?   Seems to be less people wearing pajamas at home but more people wearing pajamas at Walmart - where do you stand on pajama wearing? Style, length and volume of worship at church can get the words going. How about being put on hold, having to go through 85 automated cues, having the real person not be able to help you and then ending the call with the famous, “can I help you with anything else today” statement? I could go on with the things that people feel strongly about (just off the top of my head) but I’m not gonna... What if we felt strongly about loving each other?  What if the message of our actions and our lives yelled -

Every move I make I make in You....

It was my Sunday to lead worship this morning. I did something I rarely do - I led what I personally needed to declare. Usually, my M.O. is to lead on behalf of the fellowship. Today I felt permission to lead from a more personal place. "Every Move I Make I Make in You" - Don't even remember the last time I led that song - it involves La-la's and I'm not a La-la'er! But, when I walk into my parents accommodations these days I feel the definite need to know that I'm not alone - and... that I'm not failing when I can't fix them - and... there is a way to do this with joy. I am definitely not the one in control of life. In my heart I sang over my friend who goes in for a biopsy tomorrow morning. A tumor on her liver. Lord, what happens in the realm we cannot see when we sing Your song loud and strong? "You are good and Your love endures forever." We declare Your Goodness, Lord, in the lives of those we love and are contending f