Heart To Heart

I was sitting on a friend's couch a couple of weeks ago and (unexpectedly) their cat jumped up (in that silent, stealth-like way) right where my head was occupying. I've had cats jump from kitchen counters directly onto my head - freestyle jumping. Again, stealth-like - I didn't even hear that the cat was in the room until it was on my head! Or, perhaps you'd like to hear about my sister's CRAZY A.D.D. cat who was racing all around the living room but stopped long enough to dance on my head (again, while I was sitting on the couch). Yes, I am a dog person. Yes, I know that cats are smart and know if someone is not a fan - - - but really? Do they need to be on my head. No, I do not wear some cat-nip type hair product that they just can't resist. It's just a strange part of my life. I've had many strange cat experiences. Too many to mention here. What's my point? GOOD QUESTION! Do I walk around, afraid every day? "Is THIS a day that ano

“Let all that I am praise the LORD; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.” Psalms 103:1 (NLT) It's Thanksgiving. It's not anything like what I would dream of. We were given some hours of reprieve from the hospital because of the generosity of some unbelievably kind friends. Thank you. I am trying to SING LOUDER because it angers the enemy of my soul who delights in stealing, killing and destroying. I will praise the Lord with my whole heart....the God who breathes life and hope and healing and comfort.

Come as a little child. What does that really mean? 24 hours ago I was sitting with a lovely sister as she passed from this life to the next. The process was intense but the actual moment was peaceful. I have been pretty useless today. I did not attend a graveside service for someone I knew years ago at noon, and didn't go with Dennis to a memorial service tonight. I am absolutely thrilled for those who get to spend eternity with their Maker, but the lose on this side of heaven is hard. These days I hear this call, "CHOOSE JOY!" Really? In the middle of my parents' struggle? In the middle of walking with a grieving family who have experienced several family members who have passed in recent months? When I read or hear people's comments about the one I'm one with? Really? One thing that Maggie does is something I guess I need to do. Put on my butterfly wings, and choose joy. Trust my Father. Allow myself to be loved. Laugh outloud. Maggie's

I'm wondering if I'm the only one that thought being a "grown up" would look and feel different than it does? Somehow I thought I'd be a combo of Mrs. Cannizaro , Nita Mehringer and my grandma. Mrs. Cannizaro could put out a fabulous meal for a dozen Bethany students at the drop of a hat. Everyone helped and was glad to do so! Nita was wonderful with kids - grew, canned and juiced her own...everything (I think), and had a wonderful, gentle spirit, faith, peace AND sense of humor. My Grandma Johnson - well, I MIGHT have a skewed memory of her because I can't think of anything about her I didn't like. Now I'm older - grown up, I guess. I still have more questions than answers about this life. I do dorky things just about everytime I try to cook, even though I really try hard. I can't seem to be a good enough daughter, mother, wife, friend, pastor's wife, lead worshipper....and now, I really stink at learning to play golf! Golf remind

Many years ago, Dennis and I tried to adopt a little 2 year girl. Because of the place of life that her mama was in at the time, that little girl was basically taking care of herself. A two year old - finding food, protecting herself, setting her own schedule. The thoughts that assail my mind right now still bring on the tears. One thing that stands out was her little voice saying, "me do it" - - - a lot. She grabbed my finger as we went upstairs to go to bed - never being game to have my hand hold HER hand. She wanted to be the one holding on. She didn't know how much safer she would be if she would LET ME HOLD HER HAND. From her perspective, I wasn't worth trusting. But the truth was - my strength was enormously more than her strength - my heart wanted to offer her everything I was - what would it take for her to trust me...especially on the stairs? That roller coaster of an effort to adopt did not end successfully (from our view)...but, she will forever b

Here's a crazy deal. On Monday, Dennis and I were coming home from a conference. After the plane took off and was trying to reach the desired altitude there was a very loud whooshing sound that happened - three times. We've flown a lot. I actually like to fly - but, this was a freaky deal. Both Dennis and I were not excited about whatever would cause such a sound. The flight attendant was....very concerned. The pilot was...not confidence building in his way of communicating what was going on. The plane stopped climbing and slowed in speed. We were cruising slow and low. I've never really had a fear of dying in a plane crash before. This time I started to go over the safety procedures in my mind. Something about using my cushion as a flotation device - but we were flying over farms, so I don't know how that would help! I WANTED OFF THAT PLANE! No really. I wanted OFF! I thought about when my dear friend was facing radiation that was't going well with

YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. I seem to be given plenty of opportunities to learn about trust. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. In whatever situation you currently find yourself one thing is for sure - YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. The choice of attitude and response and focus and worship is up to us. "I will NEVER leave you or forsake you." YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. In pain - in new responsibility that seems absolutely beyond what you are capable of - in confusion - YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. "Underneath are the everlasting arms." I love these pictures because I know that these little Webbers feel confident to try new things because their daddies are there, and THAT gives them confidence. I'm repeating to you what is being repeated to me over and over and over again today.....You are massively loved by your Heavenly Father and YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Blessings on yo

Yesterday was a ... funny day. I went to bed feeling fine, I woke up with one eye absolutely glued shut. Strange. It was the last day of moving my parents from one home to another - and I REALLY needed to be there. So, I put on my really cool sun glasses, made a doctor appointment and headed out for the day. Got the peeps going that were helping with the final loads of the move, went to the doc and found out I had a bacterial infection - - - and continued on with the day. At some point I looked down at my feet. I had similar but not matching flip-flops on, and hadn't noticed it till the afternoon. I'm not super sharp when it comes to accessorizing, but even I know that one should wear matching shoes. Today, still can't wear make-up because of the infection. (Please understand that any make-up I wear only brings me up to the "she looks like she cares" level - never the "glamorous" level.) So now I don't look like I care AND I look sup

My life has felt like the tv show, "Wipe-Out" the last few months! (We happen to be watching a recording of that show at the moment!) My heart stuff, grandkids stuff, elderly parent stuff....all very,very significant issues remind me of the unanticipated obstacles on "Wipe-Out". Obstacles intended to make the contestants fall off the course. I'm thinking that the spiritual significance of this tv show could be a direct indication of my exhaustion- BUT - - - what I hear is, "NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST YOU SHALL PROSPER". This round has involved all generations of our family.....but knock us down, and we're going to get back up. Some days a little slower than others, but get back up we will. He is able to make us stand. How about you? To someone specifically I want to say - "don't give up, don't give in - GET BACK UP!" The Word doesn't say we won't have weapons formed against us - just that they WILL NOT PROSPER! We w

I don't like I.V.'s that don't go in right, or bedpans, or drugs that don't work on me so there's no "I don't care" place to occupy. Can you tell I was in a hospital yesterday? The project was to look at and fix my heart. The week of Mother's Day I had a conversation about the gravity of my possible heart problems that totally caught me off guard. The evidence from the test taken showed big problems, and yesterday was THE DAY. Check in at 5:30am. Groovy! I LOVE the view from a helicopter. The beauty of waterfalls and canyons and landscape and glaciers from the sky has taken my breath away. It's my mind's "happy place". But, yesterday I struggled to occupy my happy place. The unknown people, the unknown equipment, the unknown future was a struggle for me. I'm not sure you are going to like this, or even get what I'm trying to say right now but....here it goes.... God loves me even when I'm afraid. He loves m

The recent Women's Weekend that Parkway offered included a lovely special gift from God. Jody Detrick. She came and shared God's heart with us in so many ways. It's funny what sticks with you, isn't it? She shared a story about a child who had worked on learning a memory verse in a church that she and her husband served. The verse was suppose to be, "Pray without ceasing." When this little one came up to recite it to Jody's husband he said, "Pray without cussing." SO CLOSE! Really, this is not the only thing that I will remember that Jody said - BUT - in the craziness of the last 3 weeks, I will admit to have remembered (and applied) this new version of this verse to my own life! Blessings on your day, your strength, your heart and your prayers!

I am thankful that I have a thoughtful, generous, caring husband who has not traded me in - even with all the weird stuff he's had to go through with me. In the middle of feeling pretty yucky this weekend, he managed to help me celebrate my birthday with such a sense of caring. I am thankful for a friend who would call from Turkey to say happy birthday and say out loud his family's love on my behalf. (Even though he reminded me that it would cost hundreds of dollars and I only had 45 seconds to talk to him!!!) My heart felt - hugged. I am thankful for the look on a person's face who has really heard from heaven! The joy, the awe, the pureness in the eyes of one who is so excited about what God is doing. Oh my stars... I am thankful for the sound of the song of the Lord coming from His kids. Hearing the church family sing praise is my favorite instrument. I love having kids, but I really love having grandkids. I am grateful for the hearts of our kids letting us into

Today is Saturday - tomorrow is Sunday! We're going to sing "Shout Unto God" tomorrow and I've been singing it a lot this week. "The enemy has been defeated - death couldn't hold You down - I'm gonna lift my voice in victory - I'm gonna make Your praises loud!!!! Shout unto God with a voice of triumph - Shout unto God with a voice of praise - We lift YOUR NAME UP!!!!!" I live with a motto - the harder the battle the louder I'll sing! This week included taking my elderly parents to the lab for blood tests. Getting them (as well as their walkers) into and out of my Honda Civic is a skill I'm developing. It seems that I sang something out loud after getting one of the walkers freed from my back seat. A woman was walking by and laughed! She said it sounded lovely, but I think I scared her! I'm just telling you this...I don't want to curse in the middle of battle, I want to sing. It's not in me to tell you about the rest

If you were at Parkway today you already know that my heart is hungry for our children to know what true worship is, and that they become true worshipers. I long for them to know in their heart of hearts that the Song of the Lord is like no other! I LOVE that the youth come down to the altar to lead the way in worship, with abandon and without shame. I love to see them take a position that will effect the realm we cannot see. We have the elementary kids in the worship service. I LOVE that. I love the generations worshiping together. But, are the taller people leading the way in passion for Jesus? We spent some time this week with our family. One day (while it was pouring down rain outside) we went to the gym to RUN and throw the balls and exercise. The pictures you see are of Maggie imitating Heidi's exercise moves. So cute, and so sobering to me. I am in no way saying that anyone can be perfect. We are all on a journey. The Word asks us to worship in Spirit and in Truth

So, here's the deal. I am a woman, I am a pastor's wife, I am over 50. All those things should add up to experience and expertise. I think I keep expecting the older woman who has been to a bizillion potlucks to be ABLE TO COOK!!!! Really, come ON! Today's adventure... I need to take a dessert to an event tonight. Let me remind you that last time I took a cake to care group I have managed to turn the 'glaze' into 'hard cement candy' (that doesn't melt if you try to melt it with your blow dryer, by the way). SO, I'm going to try another cake. First, after adding 4 eggs to the mixing bowls, the rest of the eggs fell off the counter - that is not a pretty sight! Next, cook the cake...seemed to do ok with that. Next - - - the dreaded FROSTING. Trying a different frosting this time. Only.....evidently one must wait for the cake to cool more than 15 minutes. Really? I have things to do. The cake was cooked in a tube pan so it's very conven

Something has just stuck in my mind, so I"m going to share it with you! By now you have figured out that God teaches me things in very strange ways - - so get ready - - My husband really likes the TV show called "Dirty Jobs". It involves a host who goes and experiences people's occupations that are dirty or just down right strange. One show involved something having to do with decaying animal meat. It evidently was very aromatic because Mike (the host) was struggling with nausea. The employees there suggested that if he smiled really big it would help with the nausea. Really? Now, I don't know the science behind this - but, there might be a principle that I need to pay attention to. Do I smile when I'm walking through stinky circumstances? Or, do I frown and make sure that the people around me really understand how stinky my circumstances are? I think the more I rehearse to myself or others how stinky life is, the more life increases in stinkiness!

I have been resistant to writing a blog entry these days. The days have been full of 'stuff' that takes your breath away. The memorial service for a 29 year old dad that we had a couple of days ago...my nephew's brain aneurism...our kids moving to central California...the ups and downs of our grandson's medical challenges and the weariness of our kids in that process as well...my parents 90th birthdays (finding out my mom really didn't want to turn 90 or be reminded that she's 90 and I have 90 birthday cards coming to celebrate!)...and I could actually go on about circumstances directly connected to my heart that have occurred over these last few weeks, but I won't (aren't you glad!!!) So, where do I land when it comes to sharing my heart with you? My friend Kathleen gave me this picture years ago. It's a bird in a rain storm perched on a cactus! At the moment, that is a picture of me. But, what I'm waiting for, looking for, listening for i