Sunday, February 22, 2015

Brown is the new orange...

Just want to check in and report that orange spray tan DOES EVENTUALLY fade.  When last we 'talked', I had just tried my first spray tan because my whiteness can be scary on many levels.  Okay - my first premise might be a bit imaginary but - I think cellulite looks better with a tan on it.  There.  I said it.

The orange glow was only present on my hands and feet - the rest of me was reasonable.  I scrubbed my hands in a variety of creative ways to some success of fade.  But, my feet....oh my feet.  After our flight landed in Maui I took off my shoes, whipped out my flip flops from my backpack, and rolled up my pants that can magically turn into capris.  Oh my stars.  I discovered there is an advantage to fog.  My feet looked orange in GP, but in the Hawaiian sun light they looked just crazy.  Dennis' parting comment (in between laughing episodes) was to point out the stripes (which were below the leopard-like spots on the back of one leg).  When Dennis laughs hard it scares me a little.  He turns red, his eyes tear up, and no sound really comes out.

I waited outside the rent-a-car place for what felt like forever....looking at my feet....finally turning my pants back down to their longest coverage.  Ugh.

Fortunately (?) it rained a lot the first few days we were there.  We still walked on the beach whether it was raining or not.  That is good news for orange feet because sand is a wonderful exfoliate!

Why oh why do I share this with you?  Because.

Because it's not a bad idea to not take everything so seriously.  It's much more fun to relax, and laugh till you cry and can't hardly catch your breath.  And you know what?  We have that choice.

Hang in there with me - - - (this is longer than I usually write)

When you remember your day, what stands out?  The wonder?  The delight?  The good?  Or - the hard, negative, disappointing things?

Let me demonstrate...

We went to an official Luau (with several hundred of our fellow tourists).  In recounting this experience do I tell you that the guy sitting across from me didn't come to the table until most of the meal was finished because he was in the bathroom (and his friends kept talking about him throwing up)?  Do I tell you about sitting at the table that was furthest away from the stage on the side - almost behind the action?  Or, do I tell you that the water was gorgeous - beeeautiful sunset - graceful hula people - and we were the first table to get to go eat?

Whales were abundant and I am a whale lover.  I love that action.  We went out on a raft to get as close as we could.  It was a RAFT.  One man was super upset because he had to sit on the rubber side.  (There were a few seats in the middle of the raft but it was small.)  He wanted to be on the big boat with 1,000 other people...and seats and rails, etc.  It made the start of our adventure a little stinky (and delayed), but what I want to remember is the whale watching.  The baby whale that kept jumping out of the water and kind of spinning - like 15 times.  The graceful action of seeing the tail as a whale went under.  The sound of the whale's song.  The naturalist said that they sing their song without vocal chords or being able to breath through their mouths.  THEY don't know what the song means, but I know.  ALL CREATION SINGS PRAISE.  The different voices singing at the same time brought tears to my eyes.  It makes me cry as I write.  I recorded it.  I want to remember that God creates beauty - the majority of which we do not see or notice or understand - it's wonder-filled to me.

So my challenge for us is to choose what we allow ourselves to meditate on.  Not in denial, but rather a choice to be grateful and not lose the joy and the wonder in life.

Luau - obviously didn't want to pay a pro to take a pic!  Ha.

Webber gourmet lunch.  Nothing beats a sandy sandwich....
(Also, checking to see if DW reads my blog!  Teach him for laughing at my 'tan'!  :-)


Romans 15:13
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by 
the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." 

Proverbs 17:22
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Psalm 33:21
"For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name." 

Romans 14:17
"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of 
righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." 

Rev. 5:13
And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!”


Saturday, February 7, 2015

Spray Tan Debacle

There are many things in life that don't go the way the directions suggest they will.

In preparation for a break time we are looking forward to, I decided to try spray tanning.  The white of my legs could scare small children and it seemed like an easy fix.  A fix that lots of people take advantage of.  You know, all those Olympic ice skaters and such.  I can do this.

I didn't want to have a real person.....spray me.  Somehow asking them to close their eyes didn't seem wise.  So the answer was this automated spraying deal.  It talks to you from the moment you step in the room.  Let me describe how this goes down...

You are directed to put protective lotion on your hands and feet - which I did liberally.  Then you step into the time travel machine and wave your hand to indicate to the machine that you are ready.  There are numbers on the floor.  You can see those numbers clearly when the time machine isn't filled with fog but once the fog starts spraying it's kind of interesting.

The sprayer goes up and down, gently misting the color on.  It's meant for people of all heights, so it continues up as if I was 6' 3"  instead of 5' 3" - causing the mist to keep falling from on high until that cycle ends and it starts misting downward.

You change positions by putting your feet on different numbers as directed.


Now, step out and wait for the applied fog to dry before putting on your clothes.  Wait.....wait....wait....

The real person at the front desk gives firm advice not to get wet in any way for the next 6 hours.  It's pouring down rain outside.  POURING.  I have an umbrella - probably the largest one we own.  I made it through the rain but getting IN the car with the door closed is another story.  It rains on the inside of the door. In my rush, I close the door on my wet umbrella which sprays water all over me.  Oh yay.  Really?

But again, my thoughts go to looking like the Olympic ice skaters and even slightly on those body builders that are always so tan.  I THINK that's my subconscious expectation.  In just a few hours, I'll look like that!

Well, by this morning I HAVE changed colors.  But evidently, the lotion that's suppose to repel the tanning spray actually attracts it in my case.  ANY WHERE I put the lotion is darker than where I did not put the protective lotion.  My feet and hands are glowing with color.  No - really - GLOWING.  Oh yay!

I share this for a couple of reason.  One, it's just funny and so true to how things go in my world.

But also,  in so many ways it reminds me that we love shortcuts.  What's the quickest way to get my desired result - physically, emotionally, spiritually.  I'm thinking the shortcut way will always end up biting you in the backside in some way.  Relationships grow because we invest in them, strength grows because we exercise, knowing God's heart and voice increases because we spend time with Him.  Period.  The "spray tan" version of anything that is important will  - not  - last.  It might feel good for a moment - but it looks and feels shallow and even fake.

So, I will go to church tomorrow.  Do I wish I wasn't leading worship from the piano with my glowing brown/orange hands?  Yep.  Oh well.  Man looks on the outside, God looks on the heart.  Sigh......:-)