I can usually tell where my stress or exhaustion level is by the level of my sense of humor. Seeing the fun in difficult situations has been a gift from the Lord. My mind is fuzzy, my body is shaking with fatigue and I can't think of anything to share that is funny. We leave for the Sabbatical tomorrow. Maybe one of the harder things we've done. Dennis' mom is stable and insisting that we go.....to the point of Wayne driving us to the airport to see that we get on that plane. I remember someone describing intercession on their behalf feeling like they have a soft mattress under them - one that they just lay back on. That's what I'm hoping for. A cushion of intercession that Vivian will rest on, and a cushion that we will rest on.
There will be another day that I will share..........when I'm restored and laughing out loud again....until then keep looking up, keep listening for His Life-giving voice. HE NEVER GETS TIRED - He really is the glory and the lifter of our heads.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Dennis got me something really cool for Christmas. It was a glass pedestal serving bowl. I liked it because the opening was set at an angle and I like things that are a little different from the norm. (No comments on that, please!) He went out of his way to get it, brought it home to wrap it, put it in the box and pressed on it slightly to get it securely in the box and ....it broke into a million pieces. It was covered with bubble wrap so the pieces were contained but it was a sad moment. He felt so bad.....I received my gift, it was broken and we took it to the recycle together - all before Christmas day. I told him he probably saved my life - based on what happened to me last Christmas!!!
My sister, on the other hand, is standing in front of a cross she designed and built (with help) - made out of pieces of broken glass that she hand painted. Is that amazing or what? Her son, Phil is standing with her.
This picture strongly reminded me that God takes our broken pieces and produces such beauty and purpose out of them. He just has an eye for it! We might just see the broken piece in our hand but He sees how that broken piece actually fits (and looks beautiful) when it gets placed together with other pieces.
I am praying for you as I'm writing this....that you will find hope and faith in the Truth that tells us that you can trust HIM with every, every, every piece of your life.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
If you look closely at the picture below (it helps to click on the picture and see the enlarged version) you will see the divers head - it's the spot behind the row of waves. I want to assure you he is unharmed and will dive many more times in his future.
My own 'watchtower diving' thoughts bring me to when I was asked to go alone into the maximum security women's prison in Salem - to tell my story and talk about how loving and being love by Jesus changes us to the core of who we are. I ended up going in every week for 2 1/2 years.
I'm reminded of being asked to go to Malaysia and share for 12 hours a day for 3 days about leading worship, and what the Word says about worship and worshippers. The kicker here was that one section of the ministry leaders that were at this conference didn't want a woman teaching them anything. (I didn't know that until I got there.)
Reality for me is that it is a 'watchtower diving' experience for me to let go of anxious thoughts and fears sometimes. To trust God - not gritting my teeth - but with abandon. I love our children fiercely and am not thrilled when they are in pain, or in painful circumstances. I absolutely want them to have strong spiritual muscles, to be mature and stable adults with depth. I want them to KNOW God, and they will KNOW Him by walking their own journey of trust with Him. I'm just telling you it's still hard for my mom's heart for them to be in pain.
So, today I'm also telling you that every day I CHOOSE to dive - to 'lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord' - like the Amplified Version of the Bible says in Prov. 3:5....
"Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding."
Thursday, January 8, 2009
So, actually - this is NOT Dennis jumping off the watchtower - although he would do that if given the opportunity. We were in Mexico and this guy came up to us and said, "my cousin will jump off that watchtower if you give him $5." (The cousin's financial manager got a 5 from a bunch of people looking at the ocean in that spot!)
That guy jumped because he knew the spot he would land in was deep enough to be safe.
I want to trust God at such a level as to 'jump' when He says 'jump' - trusting that He knows the spot I'll land in. Beyond that I want to ENJOY THE FALL! Is that crazy? I'm not an adrenalin junky so I don't get the 'I do it for the rush' deal - but I want to enjoy the freedom that trusting gives to just enjoy the ride (or the fall in this illustration).
I wonder what YOU see when you look at this picture?